Here’s some advice, brides-to-be: the week before your wedding, do all of the following: get a mani-pedi, let yourself be pampered at the spa (on your mama or bff’s dime), start opening the growing mountain of cards and enjoy the feel of cold card cash between your manicured fingers, do some detox yoga, and – most importantly – leave plenty of time for special moments with the groom. *Alone.* If you see what I mean.
(How many of these things did I do? They say hindsight is 20/20. I am legally blind in my right eye.)
Take it from me: do NOT enter a week-long, pre-wedding crafting-baking-sewing-marmelade DIY bonanza. Do not imagine that it is necessary to personally hand-create and hand-draw every piece of paper attached to your wedding. Do not try to be a thrifty hippy DIY bride and drive yourself to exhaustion running the sewing machine until 2 am to get the pennant banners finished on time. Do not deny the local bakery your well-deserved business in favor of baking, frosting and decorating 60 cupcakes by hand the evening before your wedding while your mother-in-law and aunt-in-law offer “constructive criticism” and you keep swatting your father-in-law’s pawing fingers away from the cupcake stand with the left hand while flinging yellow sprinkles around the living room with the right.
Also, if your family is traveling to Europe for the first time to see you get married and none of them speaks a single word of German: well, I have no advice. Probably nothing can help you in that situation.
DIY Project 1: Homemade (cut, sewn, ribboned) yellow pennant banners (a total of about 10 m) for the buffet tables.
DIY Project 2: 60 homemade, hand-frosted and hand-decorated yellow cupcakes (vanilla, lemon poppyseed, lemon blueberry).
DIY Project 3: 50 jars of homemade jam with 50 hand-drawn, handcoloured labels topped with circles of yellow fabric and yellow ribbons. Don’t ask how long that took. I abandoned all healthy hobbies this summer in favor of sterilizing glass jars and stirring boiling fruit.
DIY Project 4: My wedding programs, designed and printed (for a price I wildly underestimated) and tied with yellow ribbons. The fabric basket liner and ribbon/butterfly deco are also hand-sewn. They should really sell short-term, low-dose OTC bridal sedatives.
DIY Project 5: Bilingual menu and beverage cards and matching name cards. Even the profi printer lady was impressed. If I ever get fired as a translator I could totally sell my designs on Etsy for miiiiillions.