The Vegan Lunchbox: an ode to the kidney bean

Dear Reader,

Just between us: I often struggle with the question of how to educate the ignorant masses about how their poor nutritional habits are causing stomach rot. My husband I can lecture sternly from the comfort of my own home, but my colleagues are another matter. How can I best communicate to them the inferiority, indeed the imminent health dangers of the Bavarian “liver cheese” sandwich?

Oh, the horror!!!

Being the well-mannered bunny that I am, I opt to lead by example. Every day as I unveil my delectable Vegan Lunchbox, I just sit back and watch my colleagues’ eyes widen in wonder. My exemplary Vegan Lunchbox usually arouses such stimulating conversational topics as “What is that brown stuff?” (quinoa) and “Is that rabbit food?” (oh, if you only knew).

But why should you miss out, dear devoted reader? And so I present, without any undue ceremony, allowing its radiance to speak for itself: the Vegan Lunchbox.

The Vegan Lunchbox can easily be replicated at home:

1. (Once a week) Prepare a large pot of whole grains – enough for a serving every day at lunch. Quinoa, millet, bulghur, spelt, brown rice, wild rice, amaranth… let yourself run wild. Now is the time to just go nuts. And if your husband resorts to indelicate vocabulary when a 3-pound bag of quinoa lands on his head when he opens the cupboard because the stockpile of grains is large enough to last through a nuclear winter: ignore him.

2. (Every day) Mandolin-slice the finest, freshest organically & locally grown vegetables you are able to afford and still pay your rent this month.

3.  Add a generous serving of a *naturally* protein-rich vegetarian foodstuff. Whey protein powder, processed soy protein patties and fake bacon do not qualify as natural.

4. Sauté!

5. At this point, feel free to hop under the shower, and do take your time luxuriating in the tickle-y suds. A hint of authentic “charred” flavour is always lovely on vegetables.

6. The Vegan Lunchbox is now ready for assembly! You are probably not enlightened enough to own a bunny bento box, so you will probably have to resort to standard tupperware.

7. No, you do not need to transport a piping hot bento to your workplace. Simply place your lunchbox on the windowsill to cool and continue getting read for work. By the time you’re ready to leave for work, your magical, fun-filled and bunny-approved Vegan Lunchbox is ready for YOU!

7. At lunch one of your colleagues will invariably inform you, with his mouth full of liver cheese, that vegans are anemic and protein-deprived. That’s why I recommend printing a stack of pamphlets containing Vegan Lunchbox nutritional stats to distribute freely to interested and non-interested parties alike. Yes, that’s just ONE Vegan Bunny Bento depicted below: 31 grams of protein! Half of your daily iron and fiber! 40% of your RDA of calcium (that’s as much calcium as 1.5 glasses of milk!)! 300% of your daily A!  350% of C! Woah, bunnies!

Take THAT, liver cheese!


2 thoughts on “The Vegan Lunchbox: an ode to the kidney bean

  1. Emily, you are the only possible Wesen on this planet who could tempt me into Vegan-ism!!! I’m not sure if it’s your amazing (looking & tasting) cooking or your awe-some writing – but either way I delighted over this & all your posts today, downed with a glass of mimosa. I didn’t know you blogged! Congrats and keep it coming…

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